Busted Heart and OK With It
This last year has been a hard one. A little over a year ago my "other older brother" (my older brother's best friend) died suddenly at the age of 37. Two weeks later the bible book store I had worked at for 5 years closed. Three weeks after that my husband informed me he "wasn't happy" and asked for a separation, so now it is just me and my two youngest daughters. Needless to say, I am broken. I am so broken I can not even pray to my Savior. Your song "Busted Heart" has ministered to me because it is exactly how I feel. I am not angry with God. I am not even angry at my husband. We have known each other for 16 years...I know him. I see him as God sees him. An amazing man who is broken and needing healing. How can you be angry with someone who is hurting so much they don't even realize it? Like I said, I am not angry: I am simply broken...busted. All I feel is the brokenness, but that's OK. I still have hope. I do not doubt my Savior's love and passion for me. I just don't "feel" it right now. I know His word. I know that He is holding on to me, and that the other side of this brokenness is healing, restoration and joy. So for now I rest in the knowledge that my Savior truly does care for me, and is working a healing in me. "Busted Heart" is my prayer in this season for I have no words of my own. Thank you for your ministry. Slowly, I know that God will show me my worth. I don't see it, but I know that He will eventually heal me to the point that I will be able to once again see myself as He sees me.
Wow!! It is so wonderful to see your heart for Him and your husband! I have definately gone through many things this year, although extremely different than yours. And I can say the same thing. I am not angry, just broken. All Christians need a renewal in Christ constantly. In prayer, I have began to see that God is give me a whole knew heart, not patching mine up. I know He will do the same thing for you. I will be praying for you!